happy saturday

After doing nothing more than running a gallery opening, watching movies all night with my lovely boy, and coming home to chain smoke and go to sleep, I woke up this morning to the sound of my iPhone alarm -- a horrible, piercing sound that doesn't just bring the dead from their slumber but also makes me want to throw the piece of shit across the room and get my 9 extra fucking snooze minutes. I'm digressing. So I'm due in at the office just before nine, alarm blares at 7:15. As I reach down to the little pile of books and boxes my phone is resting on to turn it off I realize I'm feeling like I haven't slept much more than what a short nap would feel like. I am exhausted and so not interested in the Cindy Crawford anti-aging-give up the modeling endeavors-infomercial that plays softly from my crap-ass excuse for a television set (props to me for falling asleep watching Lifetime every night). So I snooze once, and snooze again. Lacking motivation to get out of my warm bed I lay there, "just gonna rest my eyes another second" ... an hour passes before I wake in a panic realizing that it's 8:35, and I barely have time to brush my teeth or even look in the mirror before I speed the drive to work which when done legally should take almost a half an hour. After teeth and deodorant it's now 8:40, no time for coffee, and yes I'm wearing some combination of what I slept in and what I had on last night. Today was a day for an Italian shower, but thankfully I'm only here until 4 and it's cold enough to make me feel pretty much clean all day long. I get in my car, it's freezing, neighbors in my cookie-cutter development are starting their cars, travel mugs in hand, waving to one another... and then there's me, I've got my aviators and "don't fuck with me right now" face on, get in my car and fuck the warm up, I'm GONE.

...

So I'm wondering in a moment of panic what would be most appropriate to drive to work on. No time to choose, so risking the many obvious bad choices in 14,987 songs I pick shuffle. Who would have thought this would be the only stroke of luck I'd have in the morning? God was clearly on my side. As I swing around my corner without stopping, "Windowlicker" by Aphex Twin comes on. I found some odd solace in this trip of a song. Needless to say I was prompted to speed and got to work in 15 minutes (thankfully) without getting pulled over. Here I am, looking and feeling like shit... my only comfort is my iPod and the fact that I woke up with my hair looking pretty decent... but I've got the coon-eyes of a sleep deprived octogenarian.


Oh, I got to work on time.